Subnet Operator - I Must Break Your Spreadsheet

Fig. 1. The moment of contact. No spreadsheets were harmed; they were simply made unnecessary.

I do not hate your spreadsheet. Hatred is inefficient. I observe only that it is wrong, that everyone in the room knows it is wrong, and that the meeting continues.

Somewhere in your company there is a tab named Sheet1. It lists VPCs and subnets across fifteen accounts. It is what a person opens when someone asks “can we put the new service in eu-central-1?” It was accurate once. On a Tuesday. Since then: four Terraform applies, one incident, one intern, and one architect who created a VPC by hand “just to test something” and then went on holiday.

Fig. 2. The patient is stable. The patient also describes a network that stopped existing four months ago.

Fig. 2. The patient is stable. The patient also describes a network that stopped existing four months...

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